im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
