We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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