STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
