oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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