no you cant smoke seaweed
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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