How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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