I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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