I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
