i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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