If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
