He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
