I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
