Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
