He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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