no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
