i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
