I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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