i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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