i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I bet he comes in French.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
