So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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