school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
