So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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