i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
