we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You pole danced in your parka.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
