he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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