Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize