Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
