Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This baby is an asshole
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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