hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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