I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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