Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
