Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize