i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
