oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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