if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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