I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
