So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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