Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
