I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
