apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
