wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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