i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
