like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have aggressive nipples.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
