please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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