Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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