remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
