She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
even my farts smell like vagina
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
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Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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