You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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