some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
