Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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