we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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