I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
