Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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