i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
