I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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