Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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