He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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