i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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