So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
