no, he came in my armpit
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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