physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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