Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
